Healing Your Scars “ The Trans Woman’s Right of Passage “
Sometimes in this world of chaos and uncertainty. Living life as a Trans Woman can feel suffocating at times. I realized the more you choose yourself the more this world tries to test you in ways that may seem in-humane. I realized this a while ago , during my early stages of my transition. No one is coming to be your hero, or savior not even the god above.
Life has to keep going regardless of your tears and regardless of the pain you went through. While I sat in those dark rooms and on the hard wood floor thinking to myself “ why am I unloved by the very world I was born into”? I kept asking myself repeatedly, almost to the point where I isolated myself from the world for a whole year. One thing about healing the scars inflicted upon you. It’s nobody’s job to heal those besides you. It’s sucks “ I now right “, to feel the pressure of external pain inflicted upon you from the wounds of others, when all you wanted to do was live a life of peace.
Then you have to ask yourself what is peace , truly there is a price for everything. You can’t get anything for free there will always be an exchange of something. So I asked myself “what am I going to give up in exchange for the person I would need to become, what am I willing to sacrifice for my own internal peace”. The answer to that was my old life , my old habits, my old identity and lastly a family that I loved very much. After I faced my demons and became friends with my inner most critics, I learned to love myself far more than anyone could have loved me externally. As I started to understand, love and respect myself. I looked back on my previous interactions with people and realized those people never really loved me for me , they only loved a part of me. In my opinion if you are to love some one , romantically,or platonically you should always accept someone for who they are. Not saying you can’t agree with certain aspects of there character, but truly everyone wasn’t meant to be the same. How many times are you going to take disrespect, how long are you going to stay comfortable taking back handed insults from people who aren’t even trying to understand you. In this season of your life my Dearest Trans Sister. I want you to choose yourself and If you don’t someone doesn’t mind choosing for you. So stop trying to plead your way out of this , and instead play the game for what it truly is. This world could care less about how heart broken you are, the bills still need to be paid, work has to be done and many more. So continue to strive even at your lowest moments , because you are the hero of your own story.