Choose HER and Not For HER
When you finally start to understand the woman that you are, you will feel tempted to hop on every aesthetically pleasing trend. Just remember that it's okay to take your time at the start of this transition; no one is rushing you, and no one is forcing you to buy the latest makeup. Right now, you're in this early stage of womanhood, and it's a slow but sometimes painful process. It's also like you're being peeled away from the old you that no longer serves this next chapter of your life.
You must be okay with not looking like everyone else; don’t compare a 10-year veteran to a day-one novice. I say this time and time again: you must choose “Her” and not what you think is good for Her. Let me further break it down. The woman on the inside doesn’t need more makeup, more wigs, or more dresses. What she needs is more love and compassion for the woman she is becoming. Have you ever seen a flower rush and bloom because all its friends are blooming in the sun? Nope, not at all. Only for you to understand that maybe she was meant to bloom on a full moon.
That brings me to say that you should treat your transition journey as such: you weren’t meant to bloom like every other trans woman. Your story was meant to be cultivated, loved, and nourished by the very one who is writing it, and that’s you. Art doesn’t happen overnight; it's a recipe of slow growth and seeing the colors for what they are. Don’t fabricate a false sense of womanhood from the lack of feeling behind it. Remember, this journey—or I would personally say adventure—is something to be felt rather than seen with the naked eye.
The day you finally see that you were always a woman, from the beginning you could say you start to see a glimpse of who you truly were before the world boxed you into a category. In my opinion, that’s why I feel as if trans women are labeled trans because we are transitioning back to our true forms of beauty, hope, and authenticity. Back when there was no such thing as a “doll,” there was only ever the woman you were from the start.
That’s why I say it’s best “to not choose for her” as I stated in my newest book ‘Dear Trans Sisters”. Furthermore, the woman that you are becoming doesn’t need more false identity ; she just needs you to embody her fully and completely, and not to paint her off as a blank canvas that needs, quote on quote, “fixing.” All she really needed was love, and I mean genuine unconditional love, not that fake stuff. So stop looking to be validated as a woman from the outside and start validating her from the inside out.
Which leads me to say, I built a mentorship for my Trans Sisters out there who need a bit of help. Let's Grow and Glow together on this journey. Everyone needs a helping hand, even if it's from your fellow Trans Sister. This is the link 'Book a 1:1 with me' to jump start that journey to womanhood and embody that divine feminine within.